CHAPTER 39: WITH THESE COUPLE OF ARMS
Ever since that day, I've been trying to get Phun's smiles back despite my busy schedules. I usually see him in the morning by the main office building looking busy and with a scowl on his face. But no matter how much of a hurry I was in (due to running late), I always remembered to shoot him a smile and never forgetting to wave at the student council secretary with a scowling expression. Lately, he can be seen carrying a bunch of folders and files with him at all times. And every time he noticed me, his facial expression would change from a scowl into a bright smile right away. :) I believe that giving someone a genuine smile is infectious. When you smile at someone, I really do believe that the other party will feel better and also smile along with you immediately. :)
I have not brought up what happened after Phun and I had our conversation at his house that day. I figure that there's no reason to remind him of those awful feelings. I don't even know if he has done anything about it or if he has done nothing at all. I always respect the decisions that he makes. If he prefers to forget about everything and pretends like it has never happened, then I'd be willing to do so too. Or, if there's a day that Phun is ready to face the truth, then I'm also ready...to stand by him. All he has to do is ask.
One evening, I needed to run a huge errand by submitting official forms for my club to the administrator's office over and over. My watch told me that it was nearly 5 pm, yet I was still running back and forth between the F Building and the administrative building because the request forms that I had typed up and printed out were apparently all incorrect. Damn it! I was so sure that I carefully went over this!
So now, I'm dragging my feet back to the administrative building from the F Building for the fifth time. I'm in a terrible mood and I keep thinking about how if this one doesn't go through then screw submitting it. (However, I have Art who continues to calm me down and reminds me that if I don't take care of this today then we won't have the time to submit the sponsors request forms.) Whatever, I'll just keep enduring this until I can get it all done and over with. The teacher at the office is already staying late to help me get this done anyway.
I walk while muttering to myself since I keep messing up this form and it's putting me in a foul mood. I'm too distracted to notice a tall figure jogging towards me. We're so close that our shoulders touch.
"What's the matter? Did someone take a piss in your cereal or something?" The tall figure turns out to be Phun who asks me those questions with a smile. I turn to look at him and sigh before I show him the form by raising it up to his eye-level.
"What the heck is that?" He furrows his brows before he reads the words aloud. "Requesting assistance for the LIVE CONTEST event by the music club...? Isn't it too late to submit your request for sponsors now?" So he's pretty much just rubbing salt into the wounds because we already know that we've been real slow about this stuff.
I exhale before I answer his question. "If this goes through by the end of the day, then we'll make it in time. But if I don't finish this soon then we're fucked. Oh, right. Did the school release the 20k for my club yet? Did your savings take a huge hit?" I'm asking because I'm concerned since I remember who helped pay for my club's bills in the end (even though it was Earn who helped me out at first). Phun gives me a smile, looking relaxed.
"Pretty soon, I think they'll give me the money the day after tomorrow. And my savings is doing just fine. I have some money saved up." Right, I forgot that you're filthy rich.
I quickly shoot him a cheeky grin once I see an opportunity. "Oh, if you have so much money then maybe you should be a sponsor for the event. I could use around 30k or 40k, heh heh. Ow!" I shouldn't have said anything. Why did I ask for Phun to smack me in the head by saying that stuff?!
I rub my head and flip him the bird while looking annoyed. "You're not giving me the money and physically assaulted me too? What a jerk. Anyway, don't you have places to be?" I switch to whistling while walking after faking an injury. I'm suddenly in a better mood after seeing Phun's face. I don't know why either, I was in such a sour mood but now I'm feeling great, just like that.
Phun smiles as he walks next to me. "Nah, I finished my work earlier than I thought." He tells me while cocking his brows as if he wants to make fun of me. Of course, my club is working way too slowly. Not everyone can be as capable as you, Mr. Student Council Secretary!
Just as I am about to curse him out, we arrive at the administrator's office. (Lucky him.) I point at his face to let him know that he's not off the hook just yet before I push the door and enter inside. Miss Pornratt is sitting there still waiting for me so she can help process the form.
Phun follows me inside and waits with me. My heart is pounding. I'm wondering if it'll go through this time around. I'm sweating bullets even though the air conditioner is blasting inside the office. I'm staring at Miss Pornratt's face. I'm in no mood to redo this for the sixth time.
"Oh...Napat. Miss Pornratt had called my first name for five times now and each time bad news followed.
"Yes?" I answer with my heart pounding inside my chest. I'm hoping that I won't have to deal with more bad news. Miss Pornratt flips the form around then she folds it in a half.
"The date isn't centered when you fold it, Napat. I'd rather not say these words but...can you submit a new form?
"Ughhh, Misss! I'm so tired thoughhhh." I begin to whine like a small child but she simply shakes her head wearily at me.
"Well...I do feel bad for you. But even if I allow this to go through, this form will inevitably be sent back. You should go back and fix this. Where is Paramet anyway? How come he isn't doing this like he normally does?" She is asking about Met, who is the editor for my club. Unfortunately, he's at the hospital with dengue fever right now. (A bunch of us went to visit him just yesterday.) So now I'm stuck dealing with all the paperwork and I'm not exactly well-versed in this stuff.
But never mind that, I'll fix it if I need to! I've come this far, I need to see it to the very end! I accept the form back from Miss Pornratt in defeat. "Oh, he's sick. So is there anything else I need to fix? I'll just take care of them all at once." There's a smile on her face. She begins to say something to Phun, who is still standing behind me.
"Phun, will you help Napat out? He seems to be having some real troubles with this. You're good at this, so if you don't mind, can you help your friend out?" Eh? I turn to look at the handsome jerk who has a perplexed expression on his face. He gives her a nod.
"Yes, ma'am."
The two of us leave the office and I proceed to tease Phun with a smile. "Ohhh, I already had someone who could've helped me, why was I driving myself crazy trying to get this done all by myself? Dang it." Phun breaks into a laughter right away.
"Why didn't you tell me that you had no one to help you with this? If I had known, I would've helped you. Seriously, even if she hadn't asked me to help you, I would've done it anyway." Well, aren't you such a nice guy? I frown at him and pretend like I don't need his help (even though I actually do desperately) so he pounds my head twice.
Seeing that I had the student council secretary to help me out this time around, everything seemed much simpler in the blink of an eye! As it turned out, I had plenty of things I needed to fix to the point where Phun decided to just start over from scratch. He pulled out his glasses from his shirt pocket and typed away on the keyboard while I played around with the Rubik's Cube. (Other members were practicing in the other room.) Eventually, I hear the sound of the printer working and Phun saying something.
"I'll let you kick my ass if you have to come back here and redo this." Hmph, sometimes he does get on my nerves. I wouldn't mind coming back here once more just so I can kick this Mr. Know-It-All.
But in the end, I don't get to kick his ass since everything turned out exactly like how he mentioned. The form is perfect. Miss Pornratt gives me a smile as if she wants to congratulate me for having a great helper. However, the guy responsible for this is still bugging me so I secretly kick him in the shin. Heh heh.
After we made it through the obstacle of submitting said form, we were still hanging around the new building until nightfall because I had to fax more paperwork and finish a bunch of other things. Since our club had already contacted most of these companies, all I had to do was submit the document. It was nearly 8 pm already, so I submit the paperwork to whichever companies that were able to accept them instead of wasting time and wait for tomorrow morning. Some of the companies belong to the guys in the club's family so I asked them to pass along the necessary document to their parents instead of having to pay the fax fees.
Eventually, my watch tells me that it's past 9 pm now and I figure it is time to stop working and leave the school. I turn to see Phun, who is still waiting for me while I made various calls to many different places, reading one of the books that we have in the clubroom (they're all music-related though). He hasn't rushed me even once.
"You hungry, Phun? I'm sorry, I lost track of time." I drop the paperwork in my hands and ask him. After all, we haven't gotten a chance to have anything to eat yet and it's already past 9 pm. Phun closes a huge book before he looks at me with a smile.
"And here I thought you were gonna let me starve to death." Ahhh, I'm sorryyy.
I quickly make my apology before I put everything away and tell myself that I'll finally get to go home!
Phun insisted on seeing me off at my house even though I argued that he should just head straight home instead of wasting time. (It was getting pretty late.) But he put his foot down and kept saying "no" to me. He even argued that we don't even live that far from one another anyway so wouldn't be any hassle at all. Fine. Keep being such a gentleman. I was really over it. In the end, I was too tired to argue with him so I just let him do what he wanted and allowed him to see me off.
When we arrived at my street, I suddenly thought about how I should probably treat him to a meal as a thank you since he helped me with the form, kept me company until very late and not to mention seeing me off all the way at my house too.
"Let's go get something to eat." I invite him after I told the taxi driver to drop us off by the intersection instead of at my house. Phun has a relief expression on his face before he proceeds to say something.
"I thought you'd never ask." Eh? You were waiting for me to ask? Why didn't you just say so then?!
I walk with him to Ekamai Road and we pay a visit to a crowded grilled chicken place. I've actually never tried this place before. It's right by the street and eating while dealing with car exhaust gases might be kind of fun so I decide to give it a try.
The two of us squeeze our way inside the restaurant before Phun begins to order a long list of dishes.
"We'll have...a Thai papaya salad with salted duck eggs, an order of grilled chickens, the salmon in fish sauce, a hot and spicy soup with pork ribs, an order of grilled beef, an order of sweet liver, the lemon sea bass and two orders of sticky rice, please. Oh, and a round of Pepsi too." Good god, are you trying to destroy me?! I look at him with my eyes wide as I check my wallet in a hurry.
"Am I gonna be able to pay for all of that?! You ordered as if we have a 3,000 baht worth of gift vouchers!"
"Eh? This is your treat? I had no idea, then lemme order some more." He tells me with a grin while waving his hand as if he wants to place more orders. I quickly reach over and smack him in the head.
"That's enough. After this, I'm gonna be living off of hay." I complain just as the server comes back with our drinks to quench our thirsts. I can hear Phun's deep chuckles and he gives me a smirk.
"I can pay for them, jeez. Do you want anything else?" He has the nerves to ask when he had already ordered so many dishes that I doubt we'd be able to finish them all. I shake my head at him. I can hardly wait for everything that he had ordered to arrive. (I'm starving too.)
Music from a nearby pub can be heard while the two of us wait for our food. It adds to the relax atmosphere we have going on. Soon enough, the various dishes that Phun ordered begin to arrive at our table, starting with the papaya salad with salted duck eggs, the grilled chickens and the salmon in fish sauce.
"Here, try this one. It's delicious. Pang and I have tried it for ourselves before." The student council secretary tells me while he spoons a grilled chicken onto my plate. I see, so he has been here before. No wonder he surprised me by placing all those dishes without so much as taking a small pause. Basically, instead of me taking him to dinner, it turned into him taking me to dinner instead.
"Hey, hey. That's enough. Take some for yourself." It doesn't take long for my plate to start piling up with food, especially when the sea bass arrives at our table and Phun is busy with making sure I have some on my plate. Hello, this is Noh! Not nong Pang!
"Oh, okay. Eat up. I notice that you've been pretty busy lately so you'll need to keep your energy up." He tells me before spoons another piece of beef onto my plate before he begins eating from his own plate. I can't help but shake my head at him.
"What about you? How's band practice coming along? I haven't seen you guys practice at all actually, do you even have band practices?" Phun lets out a roar of sly laughter.
"Just wait and see. You're definitely in for a big surprise." What kind of a surprise? But I don't get a chance to ask since he spoons a salted duck egg onto my plate. Are you trying to fatten me up so you can sell me off later?!
It didn't take us very long to finish all the food. It'd be hard to believe that this table once was full of many assorted dishes to the point where we thought we wouldn't have been able to finish them all. I place my utensils together and then I take a drink to help with the last gulp of the hot and spicy soup. I'm stuffed and I feel like I can barely get up.
"Are you full? Wanna order anything else?" Phun is still getting the fish off the bones without any worries. He even asks if I want more. You can keep eating if you wanna but I'm out! Bye!
"I can't eat anymore, I'm freaking stuffed."
"You eat so little." This guy. I stare at his handsome face as he makes a mocking expression at me then I shoot him the middle finger.
A few moments later, Phun cleans up the rest of the food in front of us. He even orders some water chestnut in coconut cream for desserts. I watch him in amazement because Phun is so skinny that I'm wondering where he is putting all those food. It's probably a universe's secret since no matter how hard I stare, this jerk is fit in every inch of his body.
"Let's walk home? Consider it as a way to digest the meal." Phun tells me after we had an argument on whether who will pay for dinner, in which I emerged victorious. (He really wanted to pay, but I insisted on paying because he helped me a lot today.) The two of us agree to walk home since we're not too far from my house anyway. It's a good way to burn off those calories. I give Phun a nod before I leave the restaurant with him while patting my tummy.
But then, my eyes catch the sight of something happens to be going on across the street.
I should've known better than to bring Phun to walk around Ekamai Road when it's nearly 11 pm like this.
"Hey, Noh. There are a ton of pubs around here. And what is that over there?" Of all the times to get curious about something! I immediately flinch before I rush over to cut him off so he can't look that way.
"Where? Oh, if you keep heading this way then you'll see Curve. It's goddamn expensive though. But if you keep walking there's a place where you can try smoking hookah. Wanna try it?" I'm trying to distract him so he will only pay attention to this side of the street. Phun seems to be going along with my idea and we eventually turn the corner and head down the street.
And we would've made it if it weren't for that stupid car blasting music so loudly that everyone on the street turns to look at it.
In the midst of some unintelligible music being played without any considerations, Phun turns around and looks at something, and it isn't the car. He is motionless as he is witnessing something that I didn't want him to see.
Aim is wearing a spaghetti strap dress and showing off her smooth and bright skin. She is standing in front of JET, located on the opposite street from us, with a guy. I follow where Phun's eyes are looking and I notice that the guy has his arm around her.
Right in this moment, I stop caring what Aim is doing, who she's doing or even how dangerous this might be for her when I see that this is making the person next to me stops in his track. There's not even a hint of smile left on his face even though I spent such a long time trying to make sure that his smiles return. I can no longer stand idling by.
I use both of my arms to pull Phun so that he would look at only me.
His body feels weightless and I can turn him around with ease despite barely using any force. I look at his sharp face, unable to guess how he might feel on the inside. I pull him in and hold him tightly, ignoring the people around who might be staring at the two of us. I only know that I need to stop Phun from seeing those images, to stop him from thinking about those things and rid him from the pain. I want him to open his eyes and only look at me, the person who cares about him and will always stand beside him.
"Phun... don't look over there..." It's strange how I'm the one crying. I don't know when my tears started to fall. I don't even realize I'm crying. All I know is that I was the one who destroyed Phun's life. I was the one who made him aware of the terrible news. I was the one who brought him here only to witness this disturbing scene. Everything was my fault. This is all my fault. It's my fault. I did this.
"Phun...just look at me. Don't turn around and look over there. Please...just look at me..." I repeat myself over and over. I hold him even tighter now despite my arms growing weak. His uniform is drenched with my tears.
I begin to shake just as Phun slowly holds me in return.
"I'm sorry, Phun. I'm so sorry..."
"No, Noh. Thank you. I...thank you."
Phun's hands are cold as ice while he is embracing me as if I'm the last thing he can ever depend on.
If you look around and discover that you have no one left, then turn back and look at where I am.
I'm still here.
